Super Mario Bloopers
by ChaosRuler
Summary: Bloopers from Super Mario games. Starting from SMB to Super Mario Sunshine. Now starring Shigeru Miyamoto as a cop.
1. SMB Mayhem

Super Mario Bros. Mishaps

Disclaimer: I don't own SMB.

The Princess of the Mushroom Kingdom had been taken hostage by an evil wizard named King Koopa Bowser. The people of the Mushroom Kingdom were turned into evil creatures and King Koopa's army of Koopas started to raid the Kingdom taking all the Toad's treasure and putting it in '?' boxes. Until our hero...the Super Mario Bros. stepped up to kill King Koopa!

Mario spawned on some pathetic 8-bit level. "Hmmm...1-1 huh?" Mario said to himself and looked up at the top of the TV screen. "Where is my 64-bit colors!" Mario asked frantically. He started to run back and forth across the orange dirt. "Ah...oh well!" Mario said and walked to the left of the screen only to find he couldn't move backwards. "HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA!" Mario yelled. "You can't move left!" The announcer shouted. "Oh okay then." Mario said and walked right. He saw a Goomba under a bunch of '?' boxes. "AHHHHH!" Mario yelled and jumped up on the brick blocks. "HAHAHAHA! I AM HERE TO EAT YOUR HAMBURGERS AND FRENCH FRIES!" The Goomba exclaimed and looked up at Mario. "Umm...Mario you might want to get going you only have 59 seconds to complete the level or you'll die..." The announcer reminded. "But this French Frie eater is scaring me!" Mario screamed in a tiny voice. "FRENCH FRIES!" The Goomba yelled and revealed it's 2 fangs. The TIME IS RUNNING OUT noise played and the music started to play faster. "Mario! You can just step on his head!" The Announcer said sarcastically. "I can?" Mario asked and jumped on the Goomba.

The Goomba opened it's mouth and swallowed Mario. "Oops!" The Announcer whispered. Mario punched his way out of the Goomba. "SEE! NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!" Mario yelled and flipped off the announcer. Just then the Timer ran out and Mario died. "MAMA MIA! TIME'S UP!" Mario screamed and fell through the ground and off screen. Bowser jumped down from the top of the screen and laughed evilly. "BWAHAHAHA!" He laughed. "HEY! GET BACK TO YOUR CASTLE!" The Announcer ordered. Bowser flipped off the announcer and jumped back into the sky. Mario respawned and finished the level this time.

MUCH, MUCH, MUCH later Mario has finally made it to Bowser Land. "So this is where King Koopa is huh?" Mario asked. Hammer Bros. jumped down next to him. "HEY! IT'S MARIO!" One yelled. "IT'S HAMMER TIME!" The other added. They both began to throw Hammers at Mario. Mario leaped into the air and grabbed one, becoming...HAMMER MARIO!! DUH-DUH-DUH! A whole bunch of flashly lights surround Mario's sprite. Shigeru Miyamoto pulled up in his motor cycle. "HOLD-ON! MARIO! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HAMMER MARIO UNTIL SUPER MARIO BROS. 3! AND THERE IS MORE THEN 8 COLORS ON YOU! THAT COULD CAUSE THE NES TO FREEZE! I'M AFRAID I NEED TO GIVE YOU A TICKET! DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN!" Miyamoto yelled and drove off. Mario kicked the Hammer Bros. into a bottomless pit. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET YOU WASTE OF SCALES!" Mario yelled and ran off into Bowser's Castle.

Bowser looked at Mario through a telescope. "DAMN! He'll be here soon! I better stop smoking those cigars!" Bowser yelled and coughed up flames. Mario jumped over the flames and jumped next to Bowser. "ENOUGH OF THAT ANNOYING MUSIC!" Mario yelled and shot the stero with a shotgun. Miyamoto was about to come out on his motor cycle again but Luigi had chained it around the announcers neck. Miyamoto zoomed off and Announcers neck snapped off his shoulders and blood squirted all over the TV screen. Bowser was throwing Hammers and shooting fire at Mario. "DAMN CIGARS! I NEED TO THROW ALL THESE SPARE HAMMERS INTO THE LAVA!" Bowser exclaimed. Mario ran under Bowser when he jumped up into the air. "I wonder what I do now!" Mario asked confused. Just then a Hammer bonked Mario on the head and he died. "MAMA MIA!" Mario yelled. Luigi jumped up next to Bowser and waved his hand for Bowser to face him. "I still got some extra Hammers! Damn you Ebay for sending me so many!" Bowser yelled and threw them at Luigi.

Luigi jumped above Bowser's head and was about to grab the Axe but Bowser threw a Para-Goomba on Luigi. "AHHHHHHHHHH!" Luigi yelled and the Goomba only left a skeleton when he was finished. "BWAHAHAHA! THE SUPER MARIO BROS. ARE OUT OF LIVES! NOW THEY HAVE TO START ON WORLD 1 AGAIN!" Bowser exclaimed. Little did he know the Toad's had already freed the Princess, they didn't tell the Mario Bros. just to piss them off and make them play for hours on end to get rid of them. Back at the Princess' Castle a pathetic 4-bit Yoshi and the Princess were having sex.


	2. SMB 2 Disasters

Disclaimer: I do not own SMB 2.

Intro:

The world of Subcon was being invaded by an evil ruler named Wart! He captured all Subcon's fairies and stuffed them in a tiny pipe at the end of World 7. A voice called for Mario, "HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M GREEDY SO HELP ME BEFORE YOU HELP THE OTHER SUBCONS!" It yelled. Mario woke up and that day he went for a walk with Luigi, Toad and Peach. Mario and them climbed a giant staircase just like in his dream, they saw a door and the vast world of Subcon spread out before them...

* * *

On the character select screen the player was about to select Mario but Luigi shoved Mario out of the way out of jealousy and the player had to be Luigi. "SCREW YOU LUIGI! YOU SUCK!" The player yelled. Luigi dropped out of a door in the sky and fell to the bottom of the screen where another door waited. Luigi went into the door and a Shyguy walked up to him. "OH CRAP!! A FRENCH FRY EATER! JUST LIKE IN SUPER MARIO BROS.!" Luigi screamed. "GIVE ME FRENCH FRIES!" The Shyguy yelled. "No...NO! NEVER! I'M ON A PASTA ONLY DIET!" Luigi answered. The player started pressing every button on his NES controll but Luigi wouldn't move out of fear. "LUIGI! YOU SUCK BALLS!" The player screamed and through his controller through the TV.

Later when the Player got a new TV

He selected Mario for real this time and made it all the way to Birdo! "Aacchoo!" Birdo sneezed and eggs flew out of it's mouth. "Sorry! I got a bad cold!" Birdo said and sneezed again. Mario picked up the egg and threw it back at Birdo. The egg hit so hard it knocked Birdo's brain out and Mario presented it to HawkMouth. The mouth opened and Mario stepped in, only for it to shut really fast and kill him. Blood squirted out around HawkMouth's beak.

The player was starting to lose his cool with his new video game so this time he selected Toad. This was great the player made it all the way to Mouser's room with Toad. The crappy NES SMB 2 boss room music started to play in the back ground and Toad ran up to Mouser who was sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper. "HERE HAVE SOME BOMBS!" Mouser yelled and threw bombs at Toad. "SHINY!" Toad exclaimed and ate one. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The player screamed and died. Game Over appeared on the screen and the player threw the remote through the TV.

Later when the Player got a 64 Inch TV

He was trying his luck with Mario again cause Peach was a girl and he hated pink. He made it all the way to world 7 and defeated every single denizen in Wart's Castle. "MAMA MIA! THAT WAS HARD WORK!" Mario yelled and put his Sub Machine Gun away. He went into the room that used the key Birdo had just dropped. Mario picked up the crystal ball and walked toward HawkMouth. "AH! FINALLY! WART IS IN HERE I HOPE!" Mario exclaimed and the HawkMouth came to life and started flying around. "OH SHIT!" Mario screamed and pulled out an Assault Rifle. The HawkMouth looked at Mario's hearts and shot them off with death rays from it's eyes. Mario died and HawkMouth smiled with big pearly white teeth. "DAMN IT! THIS GAME SUCKS!" The player screamed. He threw his controller at the TV and it bounced off the big screen. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT!?" HawkMouth taunted. 60 NES controllers flew into the TV at once and the screen smashed. "HAHA!" The player yelled and then noticed he destroyed a 400 dollar TV. Don't even ask why he would need 60 NES controllers because I don't know either.

Later when the Player got a Huge wall mounted Plasma TV

"HAHAHAHA! NOW I WILL FINALLY BEAT WART!" The player yelled then noticed Peach was the only character left to pick. "Well this is embarassing! I'm glad nobody can see this!" The player said. One of his friends had taken a picture of him playing as Peach from outside his window. His friend ran off to tell everyone. The player finally got to Wart. "I AM THE GREAT WART!" Wart screamed. Peach jumped up next to Wart and pulled her dress up. "WTF!!!!" The player screamed in anger. Wart closed the curtains so the player wouldn't see and he heard Peach screaming from behind the curtain. "WTF!!!!!!!!!" The player screamed again. Peach fell out from behind the curtains and landed on the ground dead with her skirt stained a bright white from unknown goo. Wart smiled evilly and Game Over appeared. "WTF! NINTENDO! WTF!" The player screamed and blew up the TV with his 12-Gauge Shotgun.

Tune in next time for SMB 3!!!


	3. SMB 3 Morons

Disclaimer: I don't own SMB 3.

SMB3 Morons

* * *

Everyone thought King Koopa had left the Mushroom Kingdom...BUT THEN HIS DOOMSHIP ATTACKED! KING KOOPA WAS BACK, BRINGING WITH HIM THE GREATEST EVIL EVER KNOWN, HIS KOOPA KIDS!

Larry Koopa drove up on his doomship to the castle in Grassland, he slid down the rope and smashed through the ceiling. "COME ON SHRIMP!" Larry yelled. Toad charged him and hit him in the crotch with his hat. Larry put his hands between his legs and screamed, he then fell off the screen and the death music played. Mario ran up on the 1st level of the game. "THIS IS THE NEW GAME! MAMA MIA! EVEN SUPER MARIO BROS. 1 AND 2 LOOKED BETTER!" Mario complained. The doomship flew by over head! It seems that week Larry spent in the hospital was done, he was going back to the castle to finish what he started. Mario chased after the doomship killing all the Goombas, Koopas and Pirahna Plants in his way. He arrived at an end of level card and took it.

SOMETIME LATER WHEN MARIO MAKES IT TO THE FORT

Mario walked into the last chamber of the fort and Boom-Boom was waiting for him. Boom-Boom got up and started the boss music. "Boom-Boom is alot to say pizano! I'll call you Boomer!" Mario exclaimed. "BOOMER IS THAT ROBOT FROM SMRPG!" The announcer exclaimed. "YOUR STILL ALIVE!!!" Mario asked and snapped for Luigi to take care of him. Luigi laughed evilly and got his chain out again. "Uh-oh!" The announcer whispered. "Do you like laughing like an italian or is it just me?" The announcer asked and got tackled by Luigi. "HOLD A' STILL MR. ANNOUNCER!" Luigi ordered and beat him with the chain. Mario ran out of the fort just before it exploded and he continued on his quest. He went into level 4 and the annoying underground music played. "ARGGGGGG! I HATE THAT MUSIC!" Mario screamed. The Buzzy Beetles were dancing to it and the beat got Mario too! "HELP ME!" Mario screamed and danced to it. "YOUR NOT PROGRAMMED WITH DANCE MOVES! IT MIGHT CAUSE THE NES TO CRASH!" Shigeru Miyamoto yelled sliding down the slope at the beginning. "HELP ME!" Mario screamed. Shigeru Miyamoto shot the speakers and the music stopped. "YES!" Mario yelled and jumped on all the Buzzy Beetles.

LATER AT THE CASTLE

The King was transformed into a dildo. "IT'S TERRIBLE! THE KING HAS BEEN TRANSFORMED...AND THE GUY THAT DID IT CALLED ME SHORTY! PLEASE FIND THE KING'S MAGIC WAND SO WE CAN CHANGE HIM BACK!" Toad exclaimed. Mario jumped onto the doomship's anchor right before it lifted off the ground. Mario had boarded the doomship and was slowly making his way to the engine room. Bullet Bills and Cannons shot at Mario but all missed. Mario went down the engine room pipe and saw Larry having a tea party with Wendy. "SHIT! I GOTTA GO GUARD SEA SIDE!" Wendy yelled and jumped out the window. Mario took out his shotgun and blasted Larry's body against the wall. Blood dripped out all over the wall and floor and the doomship exploded. Mario looked around and saw pathetic clouds. He then crashed into the King's castle and the King was back to normal.

Mario looked at Desert Hill and took out his warp whistle. "CRAP ON THIS I'M FIGHTING BOWSER!" Mario yelled and warped to World 8. When Mario made it to Bowser's room all was quiet. Then Bowser jumped down from nowhere. "HAHAHA! MY KIDS STILL LIVE MARIO! YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE CHEATED WITH THE WARP WHISTLE YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Bowser exclaimed. Hammer Bros. ran into the room and started throwing hammers at Mario. "HAMMERS!" Mario screamed and kicked the hammers back at Bowser and the Bros. Bowser opened up a warp pipe as if to escape. "I'LL GET YOU YET PLUMBERS!" Bowser yelled but Mario kicked him before he could escape. "BOSS FIGHT!" Appeared in big letters. Koopas ran out really fast at Mario but were all shot to death before they were close enough to attack. "MA-MA-MONSTER KILL!" A deep voice yelled. Bowser's eyes were big and round. "DAMN THESE CIGARS! I NEED TO QUIT!" Bowser yelled and coughed up fire at Mario. Mario took out his shotgun and shot Bowser right in the nose. He roared and the death music played. Mario ran to the door Bowser was guarding and to his surprise...there was an 88 year old, ugly prostitute waiting for him. "THANK YOU MARIO! BUT YOUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE! BUT WE CAN MAKE LOVE!" She said and closed the door and locked it. "LUIGI!!!!!!!!!!" Mario screamed and tried to back away.

THE END appeared in letters behind the red curtains

Next time is Super Mario World!


	4. SMW Dumbasses

Disclaimer: I don't own SMW or Zelda.

Super Mario World Dumbasses

Intro:

SUPER MARIO...SUPER MARIO, SUPER MARIO WORLD! After crashing King Bowser's Doomships and returning peace to Mushroom land the Mario Bros. and the princess went on a vacation to Dinosaur Land! The princess was soon tricked into coming with Bowser who had persuaded her with a shiny pink dildo. "LUIGI! THE PRINCESS! SHE'S GONE!" Mario exclaimed. Yoshi burst out of an egg. "Eww! Some turtles put me in that egg! They trapped the rest of my friends in eggs too! They're tough!" Yoshi explained. "TURTLES!" Luigi yelled. "KING BOWSER!" Mario and Luigi screamed at once.

* * *

MEANWHILE AT NEON CASTLE

Bowser flew around in his helicopter laughing evilly. "Umm! Dad! Shouldn't you be preparing to fight the Mario Bros.?" Roy asked. "NO! IF I'M STANDING THERE WITH A LASER GUN POINTED AT MARIO HE'LL THINK I'M SCARED OF HIM! BUT IF I'M FLYING AROUND LAUGHING IT'LL LOOK LIKE I'M IGNORING HIM!" Bowser yelled evilly and lightning struck behind him. "Dad you look friggin' ugly in this game!" Iggy said. "OH YEAH!" Bowser screamed. "Yeah! We all look better except you! We got 16 bits but you got like 4!" Morton exclaimed. "WELL HALF MY COLORS ARE IN THIS CLOWN COPTER WHICH I'M WELDED TO!" Bowser explained. "Stupid lame Bowser sprites!" Reznor said. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING SITTING AROUND TALKING TO ME FOR! GO GUARD YOUR CASTLES!" Bowser ordered. "Nah! Daddy take me shopping in your big strong clown car!" Wendy whined. "NO! GO GUARD CHOCOLATE ISLE YOU LITTLE BITCH!" Bowser screamed. "DAD IS MEAN! I'M CALLING DSS!" Wendy screamed and ran away. "CHILDREN!" Bowser yelled and Kamek slapped his hand to his forehead. "At least you quit smoking in this game so you won't belch fire balls!" Kamek reminded. "HAHA! CIGARS ARE GOOD! I ALSO SOLD MY EXTRA HAMMERS BACK TO EBAY! MUAWHAHA!" Bowser yelled. "YOU'RE A FREAKING MORON!" Kamek yelled.

Mario walked up to Castle #1 on the world map. "F- YEAH! AFTER THIS I'LL NEVER HAVE TO HEAR DUH-DUH-DUH-DA-DA! FROM YOSHI'S ISLAND AGAIN!!" Mario sighed. He turned on rap music before he selected Iggy's Castle. Mario made it to Iggy's boss room to find Iggy waiting on the platform. "Ugly little thing aren't ya!" Iggy yelled. "Like your mom!" Mario commented. "MY MOM IS PEACH! HAHAHA!" Iggy cackled. "YOU'LL REGRET THAT BLUE BOY!" Mario yelled and long jumped into Iggy, the blow pushed him into the lava and the Yoshi egg appeared. Mario blew up Iggy's Castle and went on to Donut Plains. The OW music already started to piss him off. "STUPID MUSIC!" Mario screamed and entered Donut Plains 1. The level was really retarded with it's crappy palletes. Mario ran right and a Super Koopa flew at him. "FRENCH FRY EATING KOOPA!" Mario screamed and jumped on it's back. The cape went into the form of a feather and Mario grabbed it. "YOU GOT CAPE!" A robotic voice yelled. "Yeah screw this game I'm going the Star Road way!" Mario yelled and took out his SMW Cheat Book. He flew up next to the key and put it in the hole. The exit noise played and Mario made the little 'V' with his fingers.

Later Mario ended up at Bowser's Castle. "Time to f-in' pwn that f-in' reptile!" Mario said clearly pissed off. Mario made his way through Bowser's maze and made it up to the final room of the game. Bowser was flying around in his clown car laughing evilly at nothing at all. "BOWSER!" Mario screamed. "MARIO! BWHAHAHA! ONCE AGAIN YOU PROVE ME RIGHT! YOU CHEATING SON OF A BITCH YOU TOOK STAR ROAD TO GET HERE!" Bowser yelled. "AND LOOK HE HAS A CHEAT GUIDE FROM THE 'PROs' at Nintendo Power!" Kamek exclaimed and pointed at the cheat book. "SEE IF YOU CAN HANDLE MY ULTIMATE WEAPON MARIO!" Bowser said evilly. "Uhh..it's a clown..." Kamek started. "WHAT! SILENCE! I AM THE ULTIMATE EVIL! I AM THE KING OF EVIL!" Bowser declared. "Actually I'm the king of evil!" Ganondorf yelled and struck Bowser with lightning. "F- IT'S A ZELDA BATTLE! AND GANONDORF IS A 64-BIT SPRITE!" Kamek screamed in his annoying voice. Agahnim the dark wizard appeared and threw a lightning ball at Kamek. "SHIT! ANOTHER WIZARD! PLUS AGAHNIM IS ACTUALLY GANON'S ALTER EGO SO WTF!" Kamek yelled. Link appeared next to Mario. "HEE! HIYAAAA!" Link screamed. "What? You say Bowser captured Zelda?" Mario asked understanding Link's moans.

Link used his sword beams and shot Bowser's clown car out of the sky. "HEH-HEH!" Ganondorf laughed. Mario jumped up and knocked the coins out of Agahnim and Kamek at once. Link sliced Ganondorf into pieces with the legendary Master Sword. Mario looked into Link's eyes and Link looked into Mario's. "Time to die!" Mario yelled and charged at Link. Link crouched in fear and the hilt of the Master Sword rammed Mario in the crotch when he got close to Link. Mario's eyes turned into big squares and a tear fell out. "MAMA MIA I NEED SOME MUSHROOMS TO GET MY FIX!" Mario screamed and the death music played. "Hee? HIYAAA!" Link yelled and jumped forward to give it a 3D effect. He crashed right into the camera and slowly slid off.


	5. SMRPG Bastards

Disclaimer: I don't own SMRPG.

Intro:

Peach was sitting singing to the animals. When all of a sudden Bowser swooped down and kidnapped her. He had repaired his damn Clown car and he was heading back to his Keep. Mario slammed the door open and the sign on the roof of his house fell down and nailed him on the head.

* * *

Later Mario recovered and stormed Bowser's Keep. He made it past all the Terrapins and to Bowser's throne room. "Oh crap! Bowser isn't here!" Mario said. "MARIO! UP HERE!" Peach screamed from on top of the giant lamp. "STFU BITCH!" Bowser ordered and bitch slapped the princess. "Help Mario!" Peach screamed. "I SAID SHUT UP! MARIO THIS IS THE END OF YOU! SAY HELLO TO OBLIVION!" Bowser yelled and threw a hammer at Mario. The boring RPG battle went on until Mario kicked the chain holding Bowser's lamp up. "AW! F-! KINKLINK DON'T LET GO PLEASE!" Bowser screamed frantically. "HAHAHA!" Mario said and watched Bowser fall. "Cumming Mario?" Bowser asked and threw a hammer at Mario's kinklink. "No! Me and Peach had sex before you kidnapped her!" Mario explained. "THIS SHOULD FINISH YOU!" Bowser yelled and threw another hammer. Mario went falling down and was falling next to Bowser, even though Bowser would fall faster because he fell 1st and he weighs much more then Mario. "YOUR ALWAYS GETTING IN MY WAY!" Bowser yelled and punched Mario out of the Castle Tower. Just then a giant dildo came out of the sky and it crashed in the tower of Bowser's Keep. "Sharp dildo!" Peach yelled. Mario went flying through the pipe on the top of his house and landed on his bed. Toad then ran in looking for Peach. "MARIO! DUMBASS! YOU KNOW ORDINARY PEOPLE USE SOMETHING CALLED DOORS TO GET IN THEIR HOUSES! BUT YOUR A RETARD SO F- YOU! WHERE'S THE PRINCESS!" After all that boring crap Mario heads back to Bowser's Keep and the bridge crumbles before he can get in. "STOP MORTAL! I AM EXOR THE PINK DILDO! THIS CASTLE BELONGS TO THE SMITHY GANG NOW! GET LOST!" Exor screamed.

Mario went back and then went to Mushroom way. He encountered a whole bunch of Spinies and other Koopas. Then he met up with a pair of Hammer Bros. "YOUR ONE UGLY PLUMBER! YOU SCARED MY HAMMER WITH THAT UGLY MUG! IT'S HAMMER TIME!" The Hammer Bro. yelled. Mario then pwnzed the Bros. and took their hammer. He went on until he met Toadsworth at Mushroom Castle. "MARIO! USE YOUR PATHETIC CHARACTER TRANSFORMATIONS TO TELL US WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PRINCESS!" Toadsworth ordered. Mario told his story and Toadsworth beat him with a cane. "PLUMBERS DON'T SAVE THE WORLD!" Toadsworth shouted. Mario ran out of the castle and much, much later he got to Booster's castle. "Let's see! Now that I got Bowser on my team what should I do! Oh yeah!" Mario remembered. He gave Bowser a potion and it turned him into Giga Bowser. "DESTROY!" Mario ordered. Giga Bowser picked up Booster's castle and shook it around. Booster fell out and Bowser swallowed him. The adventure continued until they reached Smithy.

"AR-HAR-HAR! MY DREAMS WILL FINALLY BE REALIZED...WE DON'T NEED A WORLD FULL OF WISHES...WE NEED A WORLD FULL OF...CONDUMS!" Smithy explained and hammered away on a metal condum. "YOU'LL NEVER GET AWAY WITH IT SMITHY!" Geno yelled. "What's gonna stop me?" Smithy asked. "I AM!" Mario yelled and jumped onto Smithy. "AH SOMEONE HELP! I GOT A SHORT, UGLY PLUMBER ON ME!" Smithy screamed. "Ugly huh?" Mario yelled and twisted Smithy's neck. With his dying breath Smithy blew up the entire Mushroom Kingdom and the SMRPG ROM cartridge. GAME OVER appeared on the screen then it staticed out. "THIS GAME SUCKS ASS TOO! I PLAY THIS FOR 12 HOURS THEN SMITHY F-ING CHEATS AND BLOWS UP THE ROM!" The player yelled and through his controll at his SNES.

Next time: Mario Is Missing!!


	6. Mario Is Missing Idiots

Disclaimer: I don't own Mario is Missing!! I don't know who the hell it belongs to but Nintendo sure didn't make it.

Mario and Luigi were storming Bowser's Castle in Antartica. "So Mario what do you think Bowser is doing way out here?" Luigi asked. "Well, he's about to capture me then you're going to have your own game!" Mario exclaimed. "YEAH! MY OWN GAME!" Luigi yelled. "The only problem is it's a boring crappy educational game with no challenges what-so-ever!" Mario said. "DON'T TALK LIKE THAT! YOU'RE SCARING ME MARIO!" Luigi yelled. "That's not the worst part! The Koopas...they can't even hurt you in this game!" Mario screamed in horror. "NOOOOOOOO! FORGET IT MARIO LET BOWSER CAPTURE ME INSTEAD!" Luigi screamed. "That's not even the worst, worst part!" Mario explained. "THERE'S MORE!" Luigi shouted. "Sure! All the music from our previous games is getting remixed into more kid friendly music!" Mario said evilly. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Luigi yelled and caused an avalanche. "Luigi! You mama f-er!" Mario yelled and fell through a trap door in the ground. "Well I better go in after him! You stay out here!" Luigi ordered and went inside the Castle. "Took you long enough you lazy f-!" Yoshi screamed in clear English.

Luigi stepped into the 1st hub. "AH! I HEAR THE CASTLE MUSIC FROM SMW ALREADY!" Luigi screamed and banged his head against a knight suit. Then he took out a match and set the Ludwig tapestry on fire. "HAHAHA! I HATE LUDWIG ANYWAYS!" Luigi screamed. Then Ludwig ran in and locked the way Luigi got in from. "HAHAHA! YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT UNTIL YOU BEAT ALL 5 LEVELS!" Ludwig said evilly. "Nice hair, too bad I have to a' burn it!" Luigi yelled and threw a match onto Ludwig's hair. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MY HAIR! IF I LOSE IT I WON'T BE ABLE TO COMPOSE KOOPA SYMPHONIES!" Ludwig screamed. Luigi took one of the knight suits and rammed it against the bars. "DAMN IT! I'M LEAVING NOW!" Luigi yelled. "THAT WON'T WORK!" Ludwig screamed and he was no bald except for 1 string of hair on his head. "I got an idea how I can cheat!" Luigi yelled. He grabbed an axe from a knight and jumped onto the support beams, then he started chopping away at the wooden floor above him. "BYE BYE!" Luigi yelled and made it to the second floor. Lemmy ran behind the barred door with all the weapons the knights in room 2 were holding. "LET'S SEE YOU TRY CHEATING NOW YOU SON OF A BITCH!" Lemmy yelled. "You're really freaky looking!" Luigi exclaimed and set the Lemmy tapestry on fire. "You're next ugly!" Luigi yelled. "NO! F- YOU, F- YOU! F-ING MORON!" Lemmy yelled. Bowser grabbed him and started screaming at him for swearing. Lemmy dropped the key and Luigi escaped to floor 3. Luigi burned Roy's tapestry, then he took an axe and chopped his way to Bowser's room. "AH LUIGI! YOU MADE IT!" Bowser yelled. "STFU AND STOP YELLING!" Luigi yelled and destroyed the secret wall Mario was behind. "THANKS! NOW LET'S A' SHOW BOWSER WHAT THE MARIO BROS. ARE MADE OF!" Mario yelled and hit a switch. Bowser exploded into a million tiny pieces. "See you next time, Mama F-ER!" Mario yelled.


	7. Super Mario 64 losers 1

Disclaimer: I don't own anything still.

ChaosRuler: Now where was I? Okay last time was Mario is Missing so this time it's going to be Super Mario 64. This might be 2 parts it depends if I feel like writing tonight. The only problem is I don't feel too funny tonight.

Peach had wrote Mario a letter. "Dear Mario, please come to the castle I've baked you a cake. As if you need it fat ass. Princess Toadstool, Bitch". Mario jumped out of a horribly rendered warp pipe. Lakitu flew up to him with his camera tied to a fishing rod. "THIS IS THE LAKITU BROS. LIVE FROM CHANNEL 6 NEWS!" Lakitu yelled. "Mama mia! You don't need to pretend to be an anchor man! It's only the debute title for the N64 which determines Nintendo's future, so you can screw up as much as you want to!" Mario yelled. "Can we swear?" Lakitu asked. "Sure! Whatever makes you happy!" Mario yelled. "ALRIGHT! I'M CHANGING MY NAME TO CRACKITU!" Lakitu yelled and flew off into the sky. Mario ran into the castle and Bowser was there. "BWAHAHA! NOBODY IS HOME! NOW SCRAM!" He yelled. "IF NOBODY IS HOME THEN WHO IS TALKING!" Mario commented. "SHUT UP! GET LOST!" Bowser screamed. Mario ran through a door and there was a huge picture of a Bomb-Omb. "Hmmm...how do they get these big pictures behind these small doors!" Mario asked. A sign was on the wall. "Hmmm! What does it say? I think it's telling me to smash the painting...no wait it's telling me to jump into it...what? Oh well!" Mario yelled and jumped head first into the painting.

I'll leave it at that. I'm tired.


	8. Super Mario 64 losers 2

Disclaimer: I still don't own Mario.

Mario fell from the sky and landed next to a pink Bomb-Omb. "WHO ARE YOU!?" Mario asked. "A very gay Bomb-Omb we fight for freedom and our hippy rights, and you are?" It asked. "It's a' me, Mario!" Mario screamed in a recorded voice like in those fan made flash movies. "Well, us Gay pink Bomb-Ombs need to be liberated from the evil King Straight Bomb-Omb!" The Bomb-Omb buddy yelled. Mario knew what he had to do...he then shot the pink Bomb-Omb with a revolver and it exploded.. "MAMA MIA!" He yelled. A bubble came down from the top of the mountain. "MAMA FER!" Mario screamed and shook his fist up to the guy that shot it. It was King Straight Bomb-Omb with his evil curly mustache. Mario ran up the mountain and stood behind KSBO. "Hmph! I AM THE KING OF KABOOMS! YOU MUST BE HERE FIGHTING FOR THE GAY BOMB-OMBS! TIME TO END THE RESISTANCE MARIO!" KSBO screamed and threw mini Bomb-Omb's like in SM64 DS. Mario took out his revolver and shoot KSBO right in the eye. "AHHHHHHH! MY EYE! BASTARD!" KSBO yelled. Mario shot the other eye and nasty yellow goo dripped out along with the eye. KSBO blew up and dropped a star. "INVINCABLE!" Mario yelled and grabbed it. "Hey! I'm not indestructable...!" Then he got a sudden urge to give the player the middle finger. "HERE WE GOOOOO!" Mario blurted out and warped back to the castle.

7 more stars later Mario ran to Bowser's door an opened it. There was a hentai picture of Peach dildoing herself on the portrait down the hall from him. "OH MY GOD!" Mario yelled and ran to it. When he got right infront of it it turned into Bowser jacking off. "YUCK!" Mario yelled in disgust and threw up in his mouth. Then the floor opened up and he fell into it. "BWHAHAHA! YOU FELL FOR MY TRAP LIKE I KNEW YOU WOULD! I HOPE YOU LIKED MY PICTURE MARIO! WATCH YOUR STEP 'ASSHOLE' ONE WRONG STEP WILL SEND YOU DEEP INTO MY DARK WORLD! BWAHAHA!" Bowser laughed. Mario ran forwarded three steps and the pipe that lead to Bowser's room was right there. He jumped down it and landed in Bowser's arena. "BWHAHAHA! TOUGH LUCK MARIO! PRINCESS TOADSTOOL ISN'T HERE! SHOWS HOW MUCH YOU KNOW FAT ASS! I'LL TOAST YOU WITH MY FIRE BREATH!" Bowser called and shot fire into the air. Mario ran around and grabbed Bowser's tail then swung him around in a circle. Bowser took out a SMG and shot Mario with automatic Bullet Bills. Mario's hat went flying in a white background and the song from Titanic started playing in the background. Mario appeared on the screen drenched with blood and one of his eyes was missing. "GAME OVER!" He said and died.

GAME OVER

That night Bowser fed Peach right infront of Luigi in their bed. "THE HORROR! THE HORROR!" Luigi yelled, just then Bowser farted and it killed Luigi.


End file.
